Flame Gunner - Arcade

Who's GAPS inc? Should we care? Yes, yes we should.

Gaps Inc isn't that well known for the games they've made, in truth I've had a hard time working it out in the brief spell of research I've conducted, but what they have produced here is rather impressive.

Each arena holds little tricks and traps to drain your health but you can avoid those.

Flame Gunner is a Third Person shooter, to put it very lightly. Not the over-the-shoulder shooter, but more the Resident Evil type of 3rd person where the camera remains fixed and the character wanders around freely. It's an odd take on the situation and it doesn't quite manage to pull off the attempt in doing so but it's still intriguing to see what they've made as a game.

No, really? I WAS the only one playing!

The gameplay in Flame Gunner involves you picking a character that determines the starting point to the mission. The mission being to one-man-army against a nutcase who wants a rocket to go into space. So that means you get to turn up and Rambo your way through the game, shooting people, blowing stuff up and generally causing havoc. Movement is determined by your joystick pointing you the way with you wish to go and also aims your gun. Shooting is just tapping or holding the fire button, the difference between the two being that holding the fire button locks your aim in that direction while you can still move and dodge shots. Grenades/Explosives can be fired as well but take a little while to launch and there's a dodge button.

Wreck it, blow it and destroy it for bonus points!

Enemies in Flame Gunner will aim towards you it'll be OBVIOUS that they are, you're safe until the line of fire turns read and then you'll have to be out of the way. Each enemy has a health bar and as you progress, the odd levelling system in the game will determine enemies to get harder as you go and more numerous in later missions. Levels don't have to be played in order and you can choose (usually) which levels you wish to take next with some having more difficult missions than others.

Mission tasks differ from location to location.

Usually, your objective in Flame Gunner is just to kill everyone and maybe a boss. Other types of mission include destruction, where you blow everything up; escort, where you have to get someone free of an area as quickly as possible without them being killed; and protection, where you stop the enemies from destroying something within a time limit. Unfortunately, it's not always clear which mission will hold which tasks for you to be done until you start playing it. But the variety does keep the game more interesting.

Lots of FMVs and action happening, plot points included.

Interestingly, some arenas are large enough that if you move to a specific point/location, the camera will change a la FMV and you get to see the fight from a new perspective, likewise some levels will have you moving through stages with the FMV showing the progression ebfore it settles at a point and game can be played from there in almost seemless movement between the FMV and the static image showing the game's level.

Huge wall of fire, a.k.a A Big Gun.

As a game, despite the guns and explosives and fighting Armoured Personel Carriers and tough guys, Flame Gunner is almost calm in its delivery of the game. This may be as a result of the slow movement of the main characters, Generic Asshat, Girly Asshat and OneMoreChoice Asshat. Little seems to be different between the characters which leaves the game to fall back upon its multiple choice system and routes for players to navigate their way around and through the levels.

Sounds like my living room after 2 curries.

What Flame Gunner doesn't hold up on, is the control system. Moving and trying to aim becomes a nightmare if you don't develop these skills quickly and you'll soon be overwhelmed by the enemies attacking you. Dodging rarely seems to work and using the explosives is risable at best for the attempt you'll make. Thankfully you can pick up bonus health, new guns and more explosives but it doesn't stop the game being difficult more so as a result of bad gameplay mechanics than any real challenge to the player.

Some fights are very drawn out.

The sounds are your typical gunshots and explosions, while the music is comfortably mild in the background, never overwhelming but also conventional enough that it doesn't grate and it doesn't stand out as being out of place in the game. It could very easily be in place in almost any game from the 90s to today by the grace of its own merits and dulcet tones.

They don't make it easy on the final stages. Not at all.

Overall, Flame Gunner is worth a look and those in the know will recognise the engine and the models used in the way they've been executed, it's a good game but lacks that final spit and polish that would turn it into a great game. The potential is there and while not entirely a 'miss' more a glancing ricochet away from the bullseye of a great game.

Kid Chameleon

The Megadrive (or Genesis to those that feel inclined to rename shit pointlessly after Bible books or Musical Groups) was touted at one point in its lifetime as being the MEGA answer to something SUPER, we all saw what they did there and one particular advert rung out with "With only 6 reasons for something SUPER and over 100 reasons for something MEGA..." which basically called out Nintendo's new console as being new but not many games on it... Come to think of it that's a very flawed argument. Megaman vs. Superman is a very piss poor argument for having something MEGA. I don't hear of characters have Mega powers, but rather Super powers, so even going by comic book standards, video games based on those comics, or other such media representations, I'll take the Super option thanks.

The same applies to gaming. Yes it's 100 reasons for MEGA but if those reasons are MEGAshit reasons...

Thankfully Kid Chameleon isn't exactly one of those games, it has many redeeming qualities although seems to be known in smaller, more specialist, circles on the internet and even fewer offline (not Real Life, it's offline... All time spent is REAL LIFE...)

Kid Chameleon doesn't really offer us much that's new in the way of platform gaming or even plot. It's a simple run-of-the-mill affair where a new arcade comes to town, it has a game that has virtual reality and you can walk around and play it. Think along the lines of Star Trek's Holodeck and you're home happy. Something goes wrong and people start to not come back out of the contraption, much akin to the Joy Can in the Venture Brothers show though this one isn't powered by a forsaken child. The final boss goes programming rogue monkey nuts mental and is abducting kids and players, though it's not explained for what. So up steps Kid Chameleon looking like a big headed throw back to the Fonz, to step into the game and beat it.

Quite an assumption, beat the game to make the final boss give back the hostages. Even then, there's nothing about demands, so either the Final Boss is hosting one hell of an elaborate tea-party or there's plenty of head going around for all (the bosses are large floating heads before anyone gets the wrong punch line there. Although....)

As Kid Chameleon(KC), you get to run, jump, bash blocks with your head and generally rip off Mario in the control department for quite a run of the game, including have 2 hit points before "DIE"ing (yes the game says that as you cop the big fat one from mortality's big smiting hammer). Running, ducking, jumping, air moving and such while you're navigating the game. 100 gems gives you a life, or finding a life, or you can find continues and then, thankfully and for the want of something that doesn't scream "another Mario game", there's the masks.

The main component feature of KC, is the ability to don masks that you find within blocks. Each mask will change KC (Here's the chameleon part, they used a word and made a game play mechanic upon it. Are they not clever?) into something else with various abilities. Fly helmet (HA! Helmet, it's a dick joke and sadly there's more) makes KC smaller and stick to walls, Knight helmet (yeah, bored of that joke now) tanks his health to 5 hit points, climbs walls slowly and smashes through blocks he lands upon. Hockey Mask turns him into a rip of Jason Voorhees and throws cleavers. Rhino Helmet (...¬.¬) allows KC to charge through enemies and blocks. Purple Helmet (OH COME ON!) lets him spin rapidly and fly. Green Helmet (nasty infection...) lets him scan for invisible blocks to become solid for a moment. Crash Helmet gives him a gravity switching jet-hover-board to ride, Samurai Helmet gives him higher jumps and a sword and Tank Helmet turns him into a tank that shoots bouncing skulls.

This all sounds very wide and expansive but bear in mind that each helmet is usually (not always) found JUST where you need it most. Often with few enemies around so you can make the most of the level and learn the helmet but in later levels, if you lose the helmet and get transformed back to normal KC, you're likely to die right there and then or will need to kill yourself to get the helmet back in that level.

Levels themselves often follow various themes, from desert looking levels, to cityscapes, grass hills, hell, flying islands, beaches etc but these are just tile sets and the end to every level makes this more abundantly clear when the level is stripped down to show the grey building blocks of a supposedly virtual reality game but for the player, it's like being shown "Here's what you really played around, it's not as nice as you think it looks". Every accomplishment in beating said levels made cheaper by being shown it's not that grand as you think. What a lovely "Reward"

Every now and then you'll come up against the infamous-spiky-drill-wall-of-instant-death that turns a normal level into a manic race from A to B before dying and you'll find the usual "fuck you" situations of bouncing blocks that propel you in various directions, dead-ends, enemies that will slow you down and like Helmets that won't offer speed and certainly won't save you once the wall greets you with the Black And Decker approach to walling. (Prefer Bosch myself for drills)

However what should be said of the levels is that there are a LOT of them. In many cases, there's more than one way through a level and more than one exit beyond the flag at the end of the level. Teleports (some hidden like the one in the first level that takes you to the final boss) will be found in increasing numbers the further into the game you go, some take you to secret levels, some take you to places in the same level and some warp you ahead a few levels and some jump you back and forth between levels in different locations like some virtual architectural game of hot potato. The game gets sadistic at times with such acts, while the layout and structure of some levels require one to almost make a map at times of the labyrinthine levels, a failing I find in any game where it feels like you're a rat trapped in a maze. Yes, every level could be considered a maze but if you're able to see a maze, the illusion of the level is broken.

Of course, once you start thinking in these ways, you become a cynical prick. Have you considered writing games reviews? I did.

The sound is a rather mixed bag, some of the music that plays through levels is of a high quality and comes across clear as a bell, a few adrenaline inducing tracks for the faster paced levels go well together with the design of the game though some tracks will leave players largely unimpressed by the bland and faint tunes of other levels. Digitised speech is a little hit and miss with this game, it's not the clarity one might found of hearing "Round 1, FIGHT" from Mortal Kombat, but a few samples like "DIE" whenever you're killed or the bosses attack, are very distinguishable while other cackles and smaller sounds can be lost in the distortion.

With over 100 levels (and not all routes mapped and known, I've found a warp that I've never seen replicated on any cheat site, I might divulge it someday), various routes and shortcuts taking you from level to level, skipping whole sections and even bosses, there's a great (though not apparently obvious, look here http://images.wikia.com/kidchameleon/images/0/0a/Map.svg) combination of ways to travel the game and miss out some real gems of levels and find ways to avoid the annoyances of others. You won't get a map showing you the layout of the levels in an "over world" type of view so it's very much a "From within the box" perspective that you'll have to grin and bear it.

Replay value with the game is mixed, if you play through, beat it and manage this quickly, you'll likely not play it again. If you play through and have to restart a few times and then get to realise there's a LOT of different routes, bonuses, maps and levels, you could have a lot longer playing the game trying to speed run it, finding hidden blocks to help you speed run it etc. For a platform game with little branding associated with it, it's a very solid game and later, very tough game. Later levels become particularly unforgiving and even the time limit can be an issue when you're running around not aware of the correct route to take.

Bosses become an exercise in endurance with very high levels of health and usually an unforgiving collision detection when it comes to jumping on them and their projectiles, unless KC has some incredible soles to his shoes, he can bounce on exploding plasma but can let it hit his toes. I guess the Doc Martin's were left at home this time. Which makes for a more frustrating battle experience, made all the more difficult by the time limit which can easily overrun if you're spending a long time navigating the level just to find the sonofabitch to bounce of his bald bonce.

But now, I've an axe to wield, a mask to wear and some things on fire to chop up. Then later play this some more.

GB Link's Awakening

The Zelda franchise has been a staple product by Nintendo for decades with little changing from the core mechanics of the game. Swords will be grabbed, things collected for power, hookshots to be acquired, water dungeons to be feared, items to be traded for more and more items.

Take a look at any of the games and you'll see the same pattern repeat with perhaps a little sub note "This time it's sailing" or "This time it's flying" or "This time you're also a wolf" and so on and so forth. Monsters will be killed, princesses will be saved, Gannon (usually) gets his shit slapped back and forth (or his shadow in this case).

But why do I look at this game? Why do I ignore the 2 NES iterations for now and focus on the poorly viewable Gameboy edition? Because I feel that this game is the most suited for its console. If you were to give me a Gameboy and tell me that I had to have one game super-glued in there for the rest of its existence. My mind will likely go to Zelda rather than Tetris, Pokémon or similar themed games.

It all starts innocently enough with Link (Or dickshit if you like to rename things) being ship wrecked and waking up on an island beach where he is found by the local inhabitants, missing all of his items from his previous adventure. Would be nice to just once, start a game with all the items and weapons and KEEP them the whole time or upgrade them. Not throw in some convoluted idea of having them taken/lost/broken etc.

So dickshit wakes up and hops out of bed, talking to the nearest big-nosed citizen of the island hands back the shield he found with "dickshit" written on the inside and assumes that was his name too. Rather fortunate he wasn't a teacher with a series of heavily defaced school desks, lest he though the name was "Dave fucked Becky 4 evar" and a whole series of badly drawn, spunking cocks. Though perhaps that's just difficult to write in ASCII these days... ~ c===3 Nope, there's no excuse.

Shield in hand, Dickshit then takes it upon himself to get his stuff back together and get off the island while occasionally popping in and out to help with various problems and situations that have arisen for the island goers. Particularly that with his arrival, the monsters are getting restless and someone needs to collect 8 items (8 bosses... why does 8 seem so predominant in Zelda lore anyway?) to wake up the mystical Wind Fish that will grant a wish, or some such bull, and let Dickshit escape the island. The bosses don't want this, the island-goers want to help and various towns and villagers will aid and support throughout.

But no Zelda game is complete without side missions and quests. One long ongoing quest is the item trade, starting with a Yoshi doll and trading all the way up through bananas, pineapples, sticks, dog meat, necklaces, scales and finally a magnifying lens... "Good trade" of which helps you read the magical answer to the final dungeon. Or just read a guide. Alternatively, collecting 20 secret seashells and going into the secret seashell hut will give you the Level 2 sword which gives you laser shooting abilities at full health and generally causes more pain than the Level 1.

As you progress you'll find various dungeons, contained within are monsters and beasties and the more fun hearts that boost your health, an item that will help you get to the next dungeon and/or kill the current dungeon's boss. Another steady consistency for the series, dungeon 1 contains a feather and is needed to get to the boss and jump over holes to get to dungeon 2. Dungeon 2 contains a power bracelet that lets you pick stuff up which you need to do to break the boss's container, and pick up items in the way to dungeon 3. So the whole island can be explored and searched though only when you've enough items to fulfil those criteria.

Yes there's another hookshot and yes there's a water/swimming based dungeon though the real pig of a dungeon is the Eagle Tower where you've got to think in 3 dimensions quite extensively with little precursor for it.

During the game you'll find clues and hints to the nature of the island, help save and rescue people that will aid you in your quest and find all manner of rupees, items, shells and other such that will boost your stats and strength in various guises. You'll quickly learn where the shop is and how to get around the island quickly with regards to teleport spots and mystical musical notes. Which plays a key theme of the game with 8 instruments needing to be found to awaken the Wind Fish (in name only, for it is neither).

As it transpires the game is very much the big twist in itself except for the "you're really asleep" twist it turns out you're an unwilling participant in something else's dream and to escape the island you'll need to wake that creature up, but the bosses and nightmares of the dungeons don't want that to happen as it'll make everything disappear (and they do mean everything). Leaving a little moral dilemma of wondering whether you really should be waking up the sleeping dreamer if it means the end to all the creatures, all the villagers, the semi-focused love interest, who are all blissfully unaware of what may happen or what will happen should you succeed. To escape you have to end them all.

Now, this draws up various metaphysical arguments, like if you should care that something is about to fade out of existence that previously just popped into existence? Who is dreaming the dream? Why do chickens attack if you hit them repeatedly? ... Ok maybe not that one. Should you feel bad that an island ceases to exist just to free you from the binds that hold you or would it have been more noble to leave the inhabitants alive and living their day to day lives while you co-habit their realm with them?

Those more in touch with their thoughtful sides of nature, may have reservations about a game that forces you to destroy the entire game-world upon completing it having already exterminated the evils contained within. It's certainly not the thought provoking situation one would expect from a game that has you riding down rapids rides, playing songs with giant frogs, riding a flying rooster, or phoning an old guy for hints on where to go but talking to him in person is something he's too shy to do.

It certainly takes the shine off the heroes' perfect edge. The ending also makes you out to be a bastard too, given who you watch fade out when the dreamer awakens. (Unless you beat the game without dying once...)

Controls are very responsive to being used, navigating yourself in the 8 main directions of the compass points, your A and B button can be switched out for any combination of items you have, be it sword and shield to hookshot and bombs, arrows, magic powder, shovel, fire rods etc. Usually you'll have the sword and feather for navigation while using the power bracelet really should have been a passive item for picking up and lobbing stuff around. While moving and navigating dungeons and maps has you walking off the edge of the screen to the next area, for some that might feel a little claustrophobic from the SNES version having scrolling areas but given the Gameboy's graphic limitations and blurring, it makes the best of the situation and does admirably so.

Combat can be a little awkward at times if you're being bounced into something that causes injury, draining more hearts and then being knocked down a hole. Most holes will cause damage and respawn you at the point where you entered the screen while some (usually indicated, not always) will drop you into an area underneath though this is particularly notable for the 7th dungeon where you can fall down several floors to navigate around the dungeon. Though be particularly careful in the 7th dungeon as there's a way to trap a key item in a place you can't get to and bollocks up everything.

Though, with a game this fun, I don't mind playing through several times. Though the 1st dungeon boss can rebound you down a hole, forcing you to climb back and by the time you get there, he's back to full health... Lovely. There are parts that grate.

It certainly grows upon you and the longer you play it the more familiar you'll become with the game. Eventually you'll know exactly where everything is in the map and know how and where and when to get from the Animal Village, to the Raft Adventure, or back to the shop that now calls you THIEF!!! for stealing the 980 rupee item and doing a runner. Incidentally, EVERYONE will call you that afterwards and going back into the shop is an instant death for returning to the scene of the crime. Varying degrees of punishment and retribution on that one, everyone calling you thief and showing an inherent distrust of you, to dying for returning to the shop (perhaps with the intention of returning the item, but likely because you forgot you five-fingered-discounted the bow and arrow set like a cheap bastard).

There are moments of annoyance however when the game intentionally gives you a very useful item or colleague (Flying Rooster... Looking at you...) which acts as the key to attaining the level 7 dungeon, only to have it revoked by the end of the dungeon and ends up with some guy that looks after chickens and won't give the Rooster back. A formerly dead Rooster that you resurrected... What a git. Without it, you can't "hover" any more and are limited to jumping with the feather and running shoes to a 3 hole gap (maybe more if you're fortunate) and it feels like the potential to really explore has been removed.

The pace and flow of the game is very balanced and the game doesn't leave you at any point thinking it's too small or too large. The island size is perfect for the means and modes of transportation than are available and the dungeons evenly spread far enough to give you a suitably sized sight-seeing tour of the surrounding neighbourhoods before getting down and scrappy within the dungeons and duking it out with all manner of nasties and bosses. Special mention going to the Stalfos Knight that you have to fight several times before he does a runner.

An enjoyable romp from to start to finish brought down by a few glitches and game-breakable errors that could be happened upon if you're not careful. (Incidentally, DO take the powder with you to the final boss fight...)

Now time to get my fire rod and burn that fox and all the chickens I can find.