Wonderboy (Adventure Island)

Run right, throw axe, save girl. Simple.

Running from the left to the right and throwing something in the progression to get past the adversaries in the way and remove the obstructions they create, to attain several goals at once be it the eradication of the blight that has caused the situation in the first place that necessitates the running and/or rescue an individual of the opposite gender being held against their will in constraints unnecessary and illegal.

Yeah I just described most of the 80s arcades and home consoles games, but oh well.

The skateboard, added shield and speed.

Wonder boy, alternatively known as Adventure Island (NOT time is it?...) particularly on the home consoles until the RPG diversion took Adventure Island down the platforming route and the Wonder boy franchise/name off into the scrolling 2D battle RPG scheme of things. Wonder boy on the arcade is strictly the former of the two involving your plucky young hero 'Paedo-Bait McGrassSkirt' trying to save 'Miss NobodyInParticular' from the supposedly evil clutches of Some Guy that changes heads more often than he changes underwear.

It makes sense later, bear with me.

These lovely enemies will just pop up and slap you if you're not careful

 
It's present in a light-hearted and comical manner; everything looks so cutesy and appealing on that Technicolor level that almost looks like a psychedelic saccharine approach to creature and level design that if it was any more sugar coated; legs would be falling off and eyes bursting in fountains of spectral wonder. It's bright, colourful and looks like it belongs on some kids Saturday Morning TV show. (And maybe should be with some of the shit that's broadcast these days... enough social commentary there for now though)

Snails: Lots of them, don't do much, kills on touch.

The game has a built in timer, which is designed to steadily drain and fall but gets replenished in small pieces by collecting fruit that's scattered along each level. Fruit that APPEARS in front of you (or above) when you get near it and either you remember where it is or you run past it or you have to move back and get it, which is quite likely to disappear by the time the inertia physics slows you down enough to actually turn around and then you've wasted even more time. Time spent making no progress and always dying. It's almost like the entire game is set above 26,000ft and fruit contains oxygen (or burgers contain oxygen, magic mushrooms and such...you know...)

Cloud jumping, and octopuses...octopi? squid things.

Your items for pick up range from the axe, without which you're going to have a VERY hard time getting anywhere in the game, especially after level 1. A skateboard which makes you faster and you can survive one hit but you cannot stop moving, so expect to roll off the edge of a cliff at some point. Milk, which either boosts a lot of health or fills it up entirely depending on the small/big variety that you can collect. Bonus points symbolised by gold letters, which can be triggered to appear by doing a mixture of things such as hitting it with an axe (when you can't see it) running/jumping into a key point (no clues here either) or killing/not killing everything up to that point. Sometimes you might encounter an extra life but I'll promise you now it's under a spotted egg which summons a reaper that drains your health very quickly for a while, while sometimes you'll get a fairy from the normal eggs that will make you immortal to enemies (not holes) for a short while.

Fairy for invincibles!

The last key items are the magic mushroom which turns all fruit/food into junk food and multiplies the score of the food you collect (50 points to 500points), and a doll, which gives you a bonus of however many points your health is worth at the end of the level, and then gives you that bonus again for the doll. So finishing a level quickly while collecting everything is essential if you want to get the top score (or don't bother, just finish the game anyway). The kicker in this case is that you cannot get to level 8 if you don't get EVERY SINGLE DOLL through the game and there's one per level.

More tricks and traps, and more ways to die.

Now initially, you might think, "fair enough" and I'd make you right for the first few worlds. They're usually in places you can easily miss if you jump too high/low or if you've got the skateboard you might sail right past them, or you need to use a spring to get them but springs only really activate once and you can't exactly go back to them because the projected launch takes them outside of the left of the screen. But the real bitch of the situation, the real "I'm the programmer and I hate EVERYONE" move here (The big floppy donkey-dick move of them all) is that some of the dolls are hidden in rocks.

The more calorific, the more points it is worth.

The granddaddy cockslap to the face with the STD dick of death is the fact that some of the dolls are hidden in enemies. Sometimes it's a snail, sometimes it's a frog having to leap into a fire, other times it's a cobra. There is NO clue or indication that the things that would normally kill you, now have something you NEED to get the true final ending and area of the game. Of course, get the wrong enemy or hazard and you'll die. This is possibly the most ridiculous idea I've ever come across in a videogame aside from arbitrarily killing someone for picking the wrong doorway in a maze.

Level 4 of any world is a boss fight awaiting for you at the end.

The mechanics within the game are quite simple. Fall down a hole; dead. Get hit by ANYTHING; Dead. Run out of vitality; Dead. It's very easy in this game to die and die often, usually by the same thing. Dying results in you restarting the level or from a checkpoint in some of the levels and starting without any items in the inventory.

...and then it all went downhill.

Your enemies are a varied bunch, ranging from the slow snails, the immobile but suddenly THERE cobras, hopping frogs of 2 flavours, pelt wearing ninja-like assailants, swordfish and octopi, tribal humans/figures, bats, spiders, boulders and bosses. Each boss being a big guy that runs back and forth, hurling bouncing fireballs at you.

The boss... Same boss every time, just a new head.

Unless of course you count the rather nasty level designs when it comes to gaping chasms with platforms swaying back and forth, or platforms that drop as soon as you land on them and require you to immediately jump again, or the lift/elevator platforms of the ascending AND descending varieties. It's a game that uses up a lot of the typical things one would find in almost all future platform games and does it rather well. Making it into an interesting first step in the series by having an initially simple game that becomes fiendishly difficult within 2 worlds and outright ABUSIVELY destructive by the time you're half way through the game.

Congrats, you fucked up.

While some might throw themselves down in a pathetic display of defending this game from criticism, citing that it's an arcade game and needs to be difficult; I'll agree that arcade games are made to make money. But I shall not agree that ANY game should use the systems this game uses in order to pad out game play and deny players their lives/credits/continues by playing kamikaze egg-hunt for the dolls within the game. You wouldn't tell a kid that the Easter Bunny hid some of the eggs inside car engines on the motorway (Actually I might...) and you wouldn't start an Egg Hunt by telling kids not to go into certain places to look for the eggs AND HIDE THE EGGS THERE ANYWAY.

These guys hit you from behind, much harder to avoid if you're on the skateboard.

It's grossly unfair and unwarranted in a game and is one of the key problems that Wonder boy has. Of course, I say all this on the assumption players can GET that far to find out that the dolls are hidden, most of the time players won't get past the 2nd World anyway as the difficulty curve ramps up into a solid wall fairly quickly and then overhangs the player by that point.

Entertaining but you'd better be prepared to suffer for this one if you have any inclination at all towards beating it.

Go on, I dare you to get to this point.

In what boils down to running right, jumping and attacking if you have the axe weapon (and nothing else...) you'll have to navigate 8 worlds consisting of 4 levels (Mario anyone?) where in a boss will be found on the fourth level (Mario again?) The boss getting progressively harder and more aggressive in their movements and attacks (Mario?) while looking mostly the same apart from the head-swap issue to signify a "different" boss. The 4th level of the world is always a dark forest and is the same dark forest each time with different layouts for the enemies and traps.

Wonderboy in Monsterland - Arcade

Don't you just love when resolutions don't quite work

The original Wonderboy was a rather interesting little platformer that took the Mario approach, slapped in some graphics and sped up the fluidity of the gameplay. This outing of Wonderboy however has taken the adventure approach from platforming and put a lot more emphasis on combat, a pseudo RPG element to the game and thrown in a little exploration with it too.

Kill Dragon, Restore Peace. Nothing about political balance or economies.

You start off as Dicky McNoRealSignificance and before you can say "First Screen Away" you're talking to a fortune teller that lets you know that you're the last hope for the world and must go kill a dragon, and with that, gives you a sword and sends you on your merry way. What you're not told is that you'll have to fight, kill and find a hell of a lot of gold if you want to stand a ghost of a chance at getting anywhere NEAR that goal. As well as finding secret bosses, swords, weapons and everything else in between.

THE FIRST BOSS, is DEATH. (Yes I cheated and no I don't care)

Combat and movement in Wonderboy in Monsterland is very simple. Joystick for the movement, one button to attack, the other button jumps. Blocking is done automatically with a shield as long as you're not attacking and if you've got yourself a shield, while magic is cast by pressing down on the joystick. This does become problematic later in the game when enemies are dropping spells and there's ladders to navigate downwards, by pressing DOWN ON THE JOYSTICK... Anyone seeing this as a problem just yet?

Oooh, secret hidden door leading to more bosses.

Wonderboy in Monsterland, treats us to a rather jovial set of music, uplifting and jaunty as it bounces along with a slightly casual set of tunes with a light spring in their step. There's little sense of atmosphere beyond the entire game being treated as a kid's adventure and it fits in well with the graphics and setting.

"Take my large flute and blow on it... Gently..." -this is why I don't go adventuring any more.

Graphically in Wonderboy in Monsterland, everything is nice, friendly and rather cute. Even Death (your first boss), looks nice and cute for a skeleton wearing a robe and holding a scythe. Everything from snakes and yetis, to knights, demons and the last boss, the dragon, looks like a cheerful reject from some Saturday Morning show. The background and foreground are brightly coloured, clear and crisply presented while the design of the levels suffers a little in the later parts when having to jump and navigate up and down screen and the scrolling isn't enough to get through.

All healed up.

 

That said, Wonderboy in Monsterland, starts innocently enough with fairly linear levels and the unknowing behind each door that it could be a shop, a hidden trader for health and such (though in towns they'll be clearly marked) or a boss you weren't prepared to fight. That said, there's the hidden doors that are initially announced and unless you realise what the game is telling you, you have to press up to enter the door or walk past blissfully unaware that you're missing the chance to get more powerful swords and key items that will either solve the final dungeon or make Dragon very easy to defeat.

For what? A "?" and a "?" and that's all I get?

As for the final dungeon, the ramping difficulty for that last level is vertical to the point of coming back on itself as the maze is incredibly long, doesn't make it abundantly clear when you're going the right way or the wrong way at times (unless you have the bell) and is flooded with previous bosses, leaving you to the final battle against Dragon with likely far less hearts than you should have and few spells left. Though if you've the maximum armour, weapons and such, it shouldn't be a challenge. But with a strict timer throughout that drains lives, respawning enemies that stop dropping items after the 2nd or 3rd kill, you NEED to keep on the move or McNoRealSignificance will be gaining his wings sooner than expected and awaiting more cash/credits from the player.

Super Mario Land (GB)

Begs the question, why is there an option idea at all here?

My last review on the Gameboy for this month, especially as it's partly in the start of the next month but so what, my choice and I'm doing this game. Super Mario Land, the very first game in the series on the Gameboy. It's not quite what some might expect, that much should be made very clear.

Bonus rounds do tend to try and throw lives at you, not that you really need them

If anything this game is something different from the other Mario games I might find on the NES and such. The in game physics are slightly different, the flower-power-up is very different in that it bounces off at all angles and isn't affected by gravity, it can also pick up coins if it hits them which makes for a wonderful help on the special room where it's FILLED from top to bottom of the screen with about 230+ coins (2 bonus lives at least) there's a change in the idea of the flag at the end of the level where taking the lower exit gives you no rewards while taking the higher exit will get you a bonus round of "get some lives or a power up". Which is great unless you get the flower and already have it, then the game makes a noise at you.

Not sure who has the bigger moustache here...

The actual game play seems the same on paper. You play as Mario and run, jump and sometimes shoot your way through enemies as you progress to the right and play through various lands and worlds (4 worlds) in order to rescue Princess Daisy (not Peach), where you'll encounter some familiar enemies and some very different enemies ranging from the Goombas and Koopas (which explode now) to rocks that run, giant spiders, sea dragons, dead Chinese spirits, robots and some guy in a spaceship. Each world has a rather unique boss (i.e. it's NOT just King Koopa throwing fireballs) Where you can also attack the boss or hit the blow-it-up button (except on last boss) and kill them that way.

Now.. How are you supposed to work out THIS secret unless you were suicidal?

Every 100 coins is an extra life and the game seems to throw them at you, lives available as hearts (mushroom graphics were difficult to differentiate between back then apparently) and coins and power ups are fairly plentiful. Dying isn't much of a punishment as the checkpoints are very regular although perhaps a little TOO regular in which you may restart far sooner than you realise. Often missing a power up you recently had collected and were expecting again...

A quick change in gameplay and now it's a scrolling shooter!

The running and jumping is a little erratic in places, the movement of Mario as he runs across the ground is fine, as it is when he jumps, it's when he falls from running or from jumping that the gravity of the situation gets a little awkward. Yes that was a very bad pun and I don't care. However, back to the point, jumping up onto platforms and running straight after can result in unexpected movement and speed leading you to go running straight back off again and plummeting to your untimely death, or worse, missing the bonus areas. 

Secrets AHOY!

 

In some cases with the game, how you move before and after bouncing off an enemy can be a game of roulette in trying to ascertain just what the hell is going on and leave you crashing into an enemy rather than killing it. The collision detection with some enemies bounding boxes doesn't quite match the sprites and some enemies move a lot faster than one might expect, causing some real issues with working out just how accurate you really need to be.

Top floor: Bonus level! Bottom floor: Next level...

That said, it's a fun game, steadily paced and rarely will there be a moment where you're in a rush, letting you take your time aside from two particular levels where the game play changes up and you're either in a submarine or in a plane and you'll be flying through the infamous... AUTOSCROLLING levels and shooting down enemies and blocks that are obstructing your path. It makes for a welcome change in pace and there's been enough forethought in the process to make sure the first few moments in the level are fairly enemy-clear to give players a chance to adapt and learn from the new control method.

Only if you're small will you get this one, and betting get big before you leave.

The music is fairly catchy too, except on the dungeon levels while the over world levels are far more upbeat and memorable, to the point where you could easily hum along to the music in fairly short order. It's not quite as famous and popular as the NES Mario music but little is from video games at least, except for perhaps Tetris music. The background beep and noises add little the game in truth other than to provide an audio feedback to events happening within the game, given the original screen of the Gameboy it's likely more useful than it is today with clearer screens.

WHOO! Goomba! It's almost a trademark!

It's fun, I don't deny that at all, it's flawed too but it's still a good solid game and an odd but poignant entry in Nintendo's library of titles. Not like it really needs it given the huge fucking cash cows it has grazing on the front lawn and as soon as the company looks like it'll go into distress it'll just pump out another 100 or so Pokémon and encourage people to buy a new game to catch more of them. I give it a few years before Spunkemon, the evolved Jizzmon, is "released" on the public and I really lost the plot on this one.